1. Glo well done o!.I have to sit atthe edge of my bed,turn to the left a little and open my mouth before network will enter my phone.
2. How to sleep faster: Decorateyour bedroom to look like a classroom. #Sense
3. Salary 20k, phone 400k,weavon 30k. And you go church to ask for a miracle, when you’re already performing magic.
4. Africa is not going forward or developing because we still have people who smell their armpits to decide if they will bath or not.
5. Baby if am dating you , I’m dating only you. The other girls you see or hear about are the ones dating me …..
6. When your mum is chasing you with belt and she falls down 4get it, just go and price fairly used body
7. Upcoming artiste and your first song gat 20.5mb. Its like u dont want to make it
8. My sister before u hand over ur breast to any man,first check how he drinks pure water .#HeaIth ….Tips
9. *Apart from WOMEN*, which other PROBLEM do you know that doesn’t have a solution?
10. A young man sitting in a taxi received a text from his gf asking
He quickly type “YES!” Just then, a
thief snatched his phone from
him through the window, he
quickly jumped out of the car
and ran after the thief not asking
for his phone back but rather
“press send, press send”
11. No matter how many outings
you take her…how much money
you give her..my brother, there is
always that nigga who hit that
thing for free..
Don’t kill yourself over nothing…
12. It’s disrespectful to ask your
woman if she needs money.
She’s a woman, she’s always
GIVE HER MONEY!!!
13. Its only in Africa where
parents remove eye glasses to
listen to what you’re saying*
14. You know you are ugly when
a woman seated next to you on a
bus with a baby crying and she
said to the baby “quite, or else
uncle will bite you ”
15. Nite After Wedding
Husband: Honey, I have a
confession… I’ve had sex with so
many prostitutes in the past.
Wife: Ah, I knew it! I’ve seen your
face somewhere before. You
looked like one of my customers.
16. The best way to save money
these days is by staying indoor
and be sleeping cos once you
open the gate, VOOM!!! 5k is
17. Sometimes I visit my
Facebook block list to see how
my prisoners are doing
18. You will never know how
handsome you’re, until you go
steal in the market. When you’re
getting the beatings of your life,
that is when market women will
start saying words like: see
handsome boy, see fine boy like
this …who did this thing to this
fine boy …
19. For God so loved Africans that
He gave us dark skin, that
whoever bleaches it shall not slay
but have everlasting spots
20. Stop kissing her lips and neck
all the time, that’s not the only
place on her body, surprise her
by kissing her ARMPIT….
21. In early 90’s Arsenal had a
He got injured in one match and
Newspapers wrote ‘Arsenal to
The coach was furious and told
to write it as ‘Arsenal to play with
You can guess the number of
flocked the stadium to watch the
22. My brother if you send her
N3000 airtime and she sends
you pls call me SMS,
Marry that woman, she knows
how to budget.
23. Dear sisters, if he comes to ur
inbox asking for ur number.give
him 1 digit per month,Test his
patience! # wisdom
24. Those girls with long nails
like vulture claws , biko how do
you wash your iskaba iskereyou wash your iskaba iskerebete
25. A guy went on a date in a
brand new 2018 Range Rover
Sport car with his new girlfriend.
GUY: I have been hiding
something from you because I
think you’ll break up with me if
you find out.
GIRL: What is that my love?
GUY: Am already married with
GIRL: (Hits him on the lap and
hissed) you scared me… I
thought you wanted to say the
Range Rover is not yours.
26. Every woman has two men.
The one she’s a fool for, And the
one who’s a fool for her. Let me
come and be going.
27. Nothing makes a guy so
popular than impregnating an
ugly girl… the news spreads
faster than fart
28. *If I eventually Become A
Me: Good morning, how are you?
Patient: I’m fine, sir.
Me: Okay! Next person please
29. Days are gone when pictures
are used to detect women..
Now if you depend on her
pictures, my dear you are gone.
30. Imagine a guy with gap teeth
sucking ur breast,then ur nipple
got stuck in between his teeth
jesus is lord
31. Ugly guys rarely change their
profile pictures because profile pictures because they
know how hard they struggled
to look handsome in their
my friend, argue with your
32. A guy bought a car last week,
drove to work this morning,
forgot he now owns a car &
entered keke back home.
POVERTY IS REAL.
33. I can’t wait to have a car
and ignore calls and b lyk
“sowi, call me back. I’m driving
34. If he doesn’t smoke,
drink, love football or
womanize Den 4get him,
A real man must belongs to at
least one group
35. Medically men lose 12% of
their blood sugar during every
round of sex, lose 10% of their
protain level and also lose 10%
of ur calorie level. Worse still is u
also lose 15% of ur natural
what do ladies lose? Only 5% of
their water level
if you hear FASTER fastEric just
Runaway . Don’t come and kill
36. Real men don’t buy
insecticide to kill cockroaches
and flies.They burn the whole
house & build another mansion
37. One Enugu boy posted.. ” true
love look for no floors “.
Another Enugu boy replied..”
that’s what true love doors”
One IBADAN boy commented..
hmmm, Chairs to your bad
gramma!!!, boat of your Englisi is
rung, u too shuld go bark to
RIP English Language
38. On the judgement day, they
should arrange like 10,000
angels that will separate fight
between yahoo boys and white
39. Dangote did not get rich by
forwarding “Jesus I love you ” to
50 friends… So If u send that to
me again, the thunder that will
strike you will be like doctor’s
prescription; one in the morning,
three in the evening and four in
40.ATM: Do you wish to perform
Me: I wish oh.I really wish.